John Spencer: "For All Your Tattoo Needs, I Recommend Octopus"

UPDATE: video has been reposted.



A couple of things here:



1. Congrats to the Spencers on the new addition.



2. We don't get to see the tattoo. I'd like to see the tattoo just so I can have closure.



3. This is not tattoo music. My wife has like 8 tattoos, we have several close friends who are noted tattoo artists (namedrop: Patrick Dean, Dave Shoemaker, Kevin LeBlanc) and every single one of my high school friends were straight edge, hardcore-types who dragged me to Born Against shows. Needless to say I have spent an inordinate amount of time in tattoo shops for someone who's skin is as virginal and untouched as Chivas USA's No. 1 allocation spot. And you know what? They play everything from Wilco to Slayer in there. They do not play massage music.

MLS Part of the Vikings Stadium Convo

"Although talks this week about a roof for the proposed stadium moved from retractable to fixed to reduce the cost, the Vikings would prefer a moving roof because [owner Zigi] Wilf wants to get a Major League Soccer franchise. None of the 18 MLS teams plays in a fixed-roof stadium."



More from TwinCities.com.

Transfer Window Shopping Takes on New Meaning

Hats off to England for finally out-Americaning us. Watching sports on TV while shopping for chemicals disguised as food is pretty much the end-all, be-all of modern, information-age excess so I applaud Sainsbury's and Sky Sports for making this miracle happen just in time for the final day of the transfer window.



So now you can find out exactly where Clint Dempsey is rumored to be moving to while picking up a six-pack and a few tins of beans. Which is awesome and sad at the same time. So it's either awesomely sad or sadly awesome, can't decide which. You make up your own mind.

MEXICO

MEXICO

VIDEO: Michael Bradley Arrives in Verona

I'm just going to put this bit of ignorance out there to start the day: every town in Italy looks exactly the same. Or at least my never-been-to-Italy ass thinks so. Seriously, this looks like an interview sequence from the current, Florence-filmed season of Jersey Shore; I half-expected to see a cut of Sammi drunk & crying and a coked-out Situation making "that face" as he looks out over the top of his sunglasses before the whole thing was over.



Also Mike B. speaks as if English is not his native tongue which I get. Living abroad is a mindf*** linguistically and he's lucky if he still knows the English word for "Pork Roll" since he's now on his 4th country in 5 years. The upside though is you get that man-of-the-world accent that instantly makes you seem interesting and a candidate for the next Dos Equis man.

Camping With Klinsmann

I miss Kammarman. Bring back Kammarman!

Fort Lauderdale Strikers lose. Supporters TIFO pokes fun at Non-Rowdies

The Strikers played a poor game versus rivals FC Tampa this past Saturday in front of about 3700 fans that came out to enjoy a great pre-game atmosphere thanks to over 15 Miami Food trucks. As usual the supporters started their tailgate early and even created a TIFO poking fun at FC Tampa aka Rowdies. In case you didn't know, the Tampa team which was originally set to take on the Rowdies name officially has not been able to do it due to an on going litigation involving merchandise and name rights. Therefore the fan groups Flight 19 and Miami Ultras took it upon themselves to call out Tampa's supporters group Ralphs Mob aka the 'Fannies' to South Florida fans (The old Rowdies fan club).

Here is a fan video when the TIFO went up.


You can read more about the game at www.strikers.com

Be sure to listen to Miami Ultras Alive every Monday at 10PM. Yesterdays guests were Strikers players Sir Martyn Lancaster and Goalkeeper Matt Glaeser. We spoke about the loss and much more.
Listen to the podcast HERE
Picture by Justin Yarborough

A Run-On Sentence on George John

You ever tell a girl "it's not you, it's me" and then break up with her for another chick that looks flyer only to find out in the 11th hour that there is a total dealbreaker with new chick so you go back to the original bird so fast that it's like you weren't really broken up?

VIDEO: Soccer's Lost Boys

I'm sure someone will find a way to twist the following statement to make me look like a prick or self-hating negro but here it is anyway: I'm tired of seeing soccer movies about poor, brown people.



Documentary makers, you know we're not a monolith right? There are well-to-do brown folks that play soccer as well. Bring your cameras down to a youth game in PG County, MD or Cascade Heights, GA if you don't believe me. Also there are disadvantaged Europeans and Asians who play soccer as well, give them some shine from time to time.



I'm not saying there shouldn't be films about underprivileged brown kids and the uplifting power of soccer. Not at all. But the frequency with which these things have dropped over the last few years is just ridiculous and extremely disproportionate. Here's a list of the titles that I can think of without Googling:

• Chasing the Mad Lion
  
  
• The Anderson Monarchs project
• Dreamtown
  
  
• The Day Brazil Was Here
• Africa 10
• Bush League

And that's just in the past year.



Seriously y'all we're dangerously close to "Magical Negro" territory with these types of films. Why do they keep getting made? At this point it is certainly not original and I've yet to see a follow up film where it shows some drastic improvement in the lives of the subjects since the original film. Come on y'all, we can do better.

RSL Insider: The Javi Morales Interview

My dude Dunny with the long-awaited Javier Morales sit-down. Good to see him on the mend because, real talk, RSL has been a ghost of itself since his injury. Hopefully we'll get to see him back in time for a playoff run through the Wasatch Front.

MLS: Coming Soon to a Convience Store Counter Near You

Have you ever stood in line at your local bodega or 7-11 clutching your 32oz. dose of high-fructose corn syrup while staring at the scratch offs and day-dreaming about the day that you could purchase your very own soccer-specific lotto tickets? I know. I have too.



MDI Entertainment has reached an agreement with MLS "to make logos and trademarks associated with MLS and its teams available to lotteries for instant games." You know what that means? More Landon Donovan in a sombrero adverts!



Maybe there will be some uber-nerdy, MLS-centric games. Games that only the hardcore could get. Games like:

• Andy William's Scratch-Off Trade-Off: get 3 logos for any of the teams that Andy Williams has played for and win a trip to Utah or Jamaica, your choice.

• Allocation Ace, where in lieu of a cash prize you will allocation cash for your club.

• David's Do: match 3 David Beckham heads with the same hair cut, win lifetime supply of product.

• Get the Goat: match 3 Chivas USA logos and your club gets their #1 spot atop the allocation order.

• DP Dollars: match any 3 Designated Players, win $405K

• Rookie Life: match three 2011 rookies that are still on an MLS roster , win $45K, and an apartment with 3 other dudes.
  
  

*That's a lie. I have not. Can you forgive me baby?

Of International Soccer,

of international soccer,

Soccer Reached Its Highest

Soccer reached its highest

VIDEO: What is a Soccer Fan?

What is a soccer fan? Hispanic and from the New York area, apparently.

The Team Is, According To The

The team is, according to the

Steve Zakuani "Quote Me"

One of my favorite records of last year was Mark Ronson & the Business International's "Record Collection." The title track features Simon Le Bon (Duran Duran) on the hook and a verse by U.K. MC Wiley aka Eski Boy. Everytime I listen to that song I actually imagine Steve Zakuani doing Wiley's verse and after hearing him rap I feel like I was a visionary. Somebody needs to get him on the remix stat.

Team Was Eliminated From

team was eliminated from

Soccer In United States

soccer in United States

The Game Ended In

The game ended in

Free Michael Bradley

I forgot to mention this piece from The Shin Guardian the other day. Looks like Baby Bradley is in that weird European wilderness/limbo period that hit Jozy & Freddy. Shame that. The Free Michael Bradley Movement starts now!

Football Or Soccer Outside

football or soccer outside

Carles Does Keane

I still haven't read a single article on Grantland to completion. Hell, I've only even tried to read one. But I'll try again for a second time later tonight as Carles from Hipster Runoff has done a Robbie Keane piece today. Not sure if it is "authentic" or if it's will spawn an era of "MLSwave" on Grantland but it is there. Read it.

Just Because: Donovan Does the History Channel

Remember Spartan Stadium? Remember when Lando had a hairline like that?

Clint Dempsey: Modelo Man

The aesthetics of this advert are just weird, right? It looks like we're in some bizzaro world where Clint plays in the FMF. Strange. Half-expect to see the dude in the bee costume come in to the shot halfway through. I guess Clint Deezy is catching up with LD and reaching "big in Mexico" status.



Now if any of the Yanks that actually play in Mexico ever get endorsement deals for Mexican or Mexican-American focused products we're going somewhere.

Umbro X Foosball

When I get cool, I'm going to be invited to things like this. Until then, I'm just going to have to hear about it after the fact from my men at TOW. Possibly for the best though that I didn't get hollered at about this as I am terrible at foosball. Last thing I need is to get my ass handed to me on tape for all the interwebs to see.

MLS Wins In Mexico. Again.

2 weeks ago I would have jumped out a window with excitement at the prospect of an MLS club coming out of Monterrey with 3 points. But since FC Dallas won a match in Mexico City just last week I'm already blahzay about it. That's not to take anything away from the Sounders achievement last night; it's just an indication of how quickly I can get spoiled.

The U.S. Team Passionately

the U.S. team passionately

NSR: RüFüS "We Left"

I'm not too up on RüFüS but I know a delicious slice of Australian techno-pop when I hear one. Seriously, put this in your iTunes right next to the rest of the Antipoean disco all-stars --Cut Copy, Midnight Juggernauts, Miami Horror, Empire of the Sun, Ladyhawke-- and pretend that summer will last forever. For. Ever.

And While We're on the Subject of Chicago

(to the tune of Parliment-Funkadelic's Give Up the Funk)



They want the cup,

gotta have that cup!

Oooh they want the cup,

give up that cup!

Toyota Park's Tunnel Vision

You ever wonder what goes on in the tunnel in the run up to gametime? I'll tell you: it's nothing but champagne & Gatorade spritzers and all-you-can-eat crabcakes. Can you believe that sh*t? No? Good because I'm lying.



The tunnel is a place where 20 year-old keepers give pounds to white-haired security guards, cleats make an exceptionally loud sound and bro hugs are often doled out at a backstage-at-the-Source-Awards frequency. Also it may smell of sweat and cut grass.



But maybe that's just the tunnels I've been in. Here's what the tunnel at Toyota Park is like.

Friends, How Many of Us Have Them?

On occasion nascent bloggers will ask me questions about blogging. While I do not feel that I'm in any way the O.G., end-all-be-all authority on this game I have been in it both personally and professionally for more than a minute now so I'm always down to share what I know.



And this much I know, today: not everyone you think is down with you is your friend. Sounds paranoid, jaded and ridiculous I know; after all we're talking about soccer blogging here, not The Real Housewives of MLS County, but don't be shocked when your "friends" say things about you in print, on Wordpress, in comments on Facebook or on Twitter that they would never say to you in real life.



Why we do this I don't know even though I've done it myself. Maybe it's just old-fashioned cowardice coupled with that weird pleasure we derive from bagging on someone else. And trust: as someone who has spent years passing judgement on people, places, organizations, and achievements I have firsthand knowledge of how easy it is to just be all "blah blah blah dude X sucks" when you think no one is watching.



Maybe that's the answer, you get what you give. Oh well. Take it away Whodini!

USA Soccer Team World Cup 2010

USA Soccer Team World Cup 2010

Young Euan is Not Rapper but He is Still a Baller

From the more obscure corner of the Americans Outsourced to Europe™ file comes this fine display of 18 yard-box badassitude. Young Euan Holden may be best known for being Stuart's brother but the kid showed some balls on this one. Go on son.

NBC Goes HAM for MLS, Drops Promo During NFL Game

So this ran last night during the Cowboys - Chargers preseason NFL game last night. Looks like NBC doesn't it? Kinda feel like it should be sandwiched between promos for The Office and Community and that it's a little surreal to see the MLS logo looking all big time next to the peacock.



I guess The Don wasn't playing was he when he talked about NBC cross-marketing the hell out of MLS. If this is going to be the standard, 2012 is going to be known as "Money 12."

Portland Reserve Game Draws FC Dallas-Sized Crowd

Attendance for the Dallas - Seattle match in Frisco on Saturday: 11,635. Attendance for the Portland - Vancouver RESERVE match on Sunday: 10,077. I don't care what club you follow, you can't hate on numbers like that coming out of JELD-WEN for a bench-league match. Unless you're from Seattle I guess; y'all will hate on anything from south of the Columbia River just because.



But hater-assed haters aside, that's sh!t's impressive. PDX, we see you.

U.S. National Team

U.S. National Team

The U.S. Men's Soccer Team Had

The U.S. men's soccer team had

Team Periodically Plays

team periodically plays

The Keanes Have Landed, Boon Times Ahead for TMZ

Is it just me or does Claudine look to be happier about this that both Robbie and the Riot Squad crew combined? She's positively beaming. I guess she finally got what she wanted so why not smile about it?



And what a smile it is; it's like she's the anti-Posh. So much so that TMZ is already having a field day with these two. Welcome to Los Angeles R + C.

Soccer Ball Scavenger Hunt

soccer ball scavenger hunt

Chivas USA's Second Annual

Chivas USA's second annual

MagicJack Wins with an Abby Wambach brace! Miami Ultras announce new website.

South Florida's WPS team MagicJack advanced to the next phase of the playoffs with a 3 to 1 win over the Boston Breakers. MagicJack will now face the Philadelphia Independence this coming Saturday August 20 at 4 pm. You can watch that game live on Fox Soccer channel or online.
MagicJack goals were scored by Abby Wambach at the 6' and later in the 57' off of a penalty with Megan Rapinoe scoring off of a Christen Press pass in the 61'. The Independence scored in the 31' thanks to Keelin Winters. MagicJack dominated most of the game.
You can read more about the game HERE.

Following are videos captured from the webcast. You can hear the supporters drums courtesy of the Miami Ultras and Flight 19 supporters groups.



Listen to the drums!


Megan Rapinoe hits the post.


MagicJack Attacks!


Abby Wambach Penalty Goal

The new Miami Ultras website
South Florida's soccer supporters group the Miami Ultras launched their new website. www.miamiultras.com this past Monday. The old website MiamiSoccerfan.com announced the move this past Friday.

It’s an end of an era for MiamiSoccerFan.com as we end a nice run here. We’ve had some good times here at MSF with the birth of the Miami Ultras and plenty of cool interviews and stories.
But don’t be sad because we’re moving to a bigger and better website, miamiultras.com. At MiamiUltras.com you’ll have a much enhanced experience with Miami Ultras TV, Facebook and Twitter connectivity, more writers, flash slideshow and our very own forum.
You’ll have no need to go over to BigSoccer with the MiamiUltras.com forum. All you have to do is register and start giving your opinions in any of the threads or start your own thread. This forum will moderated much more liberally than any other soccer forum, so go ahead and let it rip.
This new and improved site will also allow us to have more writers with the ability to post their own articles. You will no longer need to email me your stories. Contact me if you wish to write on MiamiUltras.com and we’ll hook you up.
So stop wasting time and head over to the new MiamiUltras.com!

Be sure to check it out!

Miami Ultras Alive
If you missed this weeks episode of Miami Ultras Alive, hosted by Pieter Brown and Uncle Ed you missed a great episode where they discussed the Miami Fusion with one time Afusionado supporters group President Andrew Hazelton. Andrew takes us back through memory lane and gives us a few anecdotes about his experiences during the short lived MLS team’s existence. We also discuss the Fort Lauderdale Strikers unbeaten streak as well as the playoff bound WPS side MagicJack. Listen to the show every Monday at 10 PM Live and call in with questions to (323) 927-1455 or join in on the live chat.
You can listen to it here:

Listen to internet radio with Miami Ultras Alive on Blog Talk Radio

My Personal Soccer Ball.

my personal soccer ball.

A Las Chivas Soccer Game,

a Las Chivas soccer game,

Keano to Carson

On a scale of "flacid" to "tracksuit tent", how excited are you about Robbie Keane joining the LA Galaxy? Personally I'm pretty stoked. Not as stoked as Robbie but hey, who is?

Image Courtesy Of CD Chivas

Image courtesy of CD Chivas

Mexican Chivas Expelled

Mexican Chivas Expelled

FIFA 12 Trailer

Can't. Wait.

Mexican Soccer Team Chivas Has

Mexican Soccer team Chivas has

The Team Is Based In

The team is based in

Chivas USA Head Coach Preki,

Chivas USA Head Coach Preki,

Gilles Peterson x Arsenal x Spike Lee

Typically I stay away from all this European soccer business that everyone seems to love but this is just pretty to look at. Plus, it's has music & Arsenal obsessive Gilles Peterson in it. If you don't know him you better ask somebody.

Watch Los Angeles Vs Chivas

Watch Los Angeles vs Chivas

The Biggest Midget in the Game™ x Philadelphia Union

Time to pop bottles and hang with models, Philly fans. The Nowak/Adu reunion tour appears to be on and PPL Park is about to party like it's 2004. I wish I had a joke to insert here but I have to say that if this is a baller-ass move by Nowak; the Union just got that much closer to locking up the East.

Viva Futbol #74

Alarazboy is back. 'Bout time too as I was starting to think he'd been shutdown or deported. Viva Futbol!

A Couple of Bosses Talking MLS x NBC

Only about 4 hours sleep last night and now I have to make my escape from Philadelphia but I thought I'd throw this out there since the new TV deal remains a hot topic. See you in NY.

Chivas USA Takes Its Official

Chivas USA takes its Official

Landon Donovan Would Like to Sell You a Watch

Did y'all know SEIKO was still around? I didn't. Mind you my watch game is nowhere near tight as I haven't rocked a timepiece since I got my first cellphone. But if you are into wristwear LD would like to say "psst" to you and open up his suitcase full of product for you to peruse. Nice to see him try to sell me something other than Gatorade, sneakers and children's books.

U.S. v. MEX in Philly: Dunzo

MLS x NBC

Sorry for the brief posts but a busy USvMEX day got busier. This is why.

USvMEX Tonight: Y'all Ready?

The Yanks are ready and so am I. Bring on the night.

SOCCER TEAM CHIVAS USA

SOCCER TEAM CHIVAS USA

TODAY IN STADIUM P0RN: Québécois Edition

Stade Saputo is ready for its closeup.

Studio 90, Live from the Illfifth

The USMNT is in Philly and in a few hours time I'll be there as well. If you're in town for tomorrow night's freindly, holler at me. I'm looking to hang.

Strikers beat NASL leading Carolina Railhawks, magicJack defeat Boston and more...

The Strikers proved their victory last week versus Edmonton was no fluke by taking out league leader Carolina Railhawks 2-1 with 10 men and a lot of heart! Over 3,000 fans showed up to a game threatened by rain and were delighted to see a hard fought Strikers dominated game. As an omen of good fortune the sky turned red and yellow, perhaps a sign of things to come (See picture).
While many of us were calling for coach Daryl Shore's head only a few weeks ago now we see an energized team that despite playing without veteran star Eduardo'Chacho' Coudet, they played with renewed confidence and a spark we haven't seen all year. The Strikers give Carolina their 3rd defeat of the year, while registering their 5th 'W' of the year.

For more details on the game be sure to go to www.strikers.com
Following check out the extended highlights and fan video:



Here is the injury time goal recorded by Adam Nessim.



Here is the end of the match:

magicJack defeat the Boston Breakers
Thanks to 2 goals by Abby Wambach, South Florida's WPS team magicJack defeated the Boston Breakers as they secured a place in the playoffs. With the return of their World Cup stars the team is regaining the form they had before the players left. It seems as though magicJack will be a contender for the league tittle this year.
Read more about the game HERE

Check out this fan video and the great center finding Abby Wambach for a goal.

Miami Ultras Alive
Once again catch Miami Ultras Alive tonight at 10PM as we discuss the latest soccer events in South Florida starting with the almost sold out Barcelona vs Chivas game as well as magicJack and Strikers info.
Our guest tonight will be Fort Lauderdale Strikers coach Daryl Shore! Tonight at 10 PM! Be sure to join us at:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/miamiultras/2011/08/09/miami-ultras-alive-18
Call in number is: (323) 927-1455 or join us on the live chat!

Mike Chabala Don't Need No Chainsaw

I'm sure Mike Chabala is down with Timber Joey but Mike Chabala does not need Timber Joey. Mike Chabala can split his own wood cotdamnit. The hell you think he is? A woodchuck or some sh*t?

Mixx Diskerud Scores in Wherever it is He Plays

Since Young Jozy, our Sacha and everyone else who plays on The Continent tried to get on the new boss' good side this weekend by throwing out a goal, here's another club from the land of World Wars: Mixx Diskerud getting one in for Stabæk. Watch it because I went through a lot of trouble to make the "æ" in "Stabæk."

VIDEO: Our Sacha Gets a Goal

Belgium is kind of boring. So are PK's. But hey a goal is a goal, particularly when it is scored by a Yank in Europe. So watch Sacha Kljestan get hacked in the box, score the ensuing kick from the spot and do a silly celebration dance if only so that you can say you to yourself "I already saw that" when it shows up in your Twitter feed.

My Mom Took Us To A Las Chivas

My mom took us to a Las Chivas

The Boy King of New York & Jersey™ Scores in Dutch Debut

Now that's how you start out on the right foot. Go on son.

Professional Soccer Team,

professional soccer team,

Monreal Unveil New, Frenchtastic Logo

I don't know about y'all but I better tighten up my French game before next season if I'm going have any clue WTF is going on in Montreal. The Impact just released their new, MLS-ready logo and I feel like I just watched an exchange student's final project for a design class. No idea what half of that was about. Mon dieu.

OC KINGS SOCCER CLUB 2009

OC KINGS SOCCER CLUB 2009

Soccer Team. Chivas USA

soccer team. Chivas USA

NSR: Mayer Hawthorne "A Long Time"

If this video doesn't make you smile your heart is as black as Kool Moe Dee's outfit. Happy Friday y'all.

Cosmos Road Show Hits Manchester Today, Vegas in Feb.

Not content to just do their thing in the Paul Scholes testimonial match at Old Trafford today, the Cosmos organization is set to take part in something called the Vegas Winter Kick on Feb. 12th at Sam Boyd Stadium. Word out of Sin City is that the promoters, Justice Entertainment, say the opposition "will be a quality team that is recognized worldwide."

Any guesses who they'll be playing against? As it's February I won't place my chips on it being anyone from Europe so I'm going to say it will be someone from South America; as Santos showed us last year at Red Bull Arena --and RBNY showed us last week-- those guys have zero qualms about taking transcontinental trips in the middle of the season to collect a check.

I might go to this just to justify going to Vegas again. And if this turns out to be Cosmos 2.0's North American debut that might be interesting enough in and of itself since the last time a team playing under the Cosmos name hit Vegas they were A) professionals, B) played against Eusebio's Las Vegas Quicksilvers and C) somebody probably got pregnant and/or VD*.

*It was the 70's, things happened.