Open Position: D.C. United Goalkeeper

Think you have what it takes to mind the nets at RFK Stadium? If so, then ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you Pat Onstad in disguise?
• Do you know what a partial allocation is (and if so could you tell us)?
• Would it offend you to be acquired in a trade for Kurt Morsink?

If you answered "who's asking", "of course not, no one does" and the always ambiguous "pfft", the Washington Post thinks you could be the guy. And who says it's hard to find a job In These Tough Economic Times™?